While this blog is a combination of mostly health and home,
I want it to also be a place where I can share about what God is doing in my life. Occasionally I may share a little more about me, and that is what today is all about.
Warning – I am a total work in process!
I had tears in my eyes, while my heart poured out these words into my palm on February 1st.
Old Habits Die Hard
I sit on a path along the Portugal coast line. The water is gorgeous and the sun shines with intensity. While walking down to where I now rest, I came to the realization that today marks 21 days of me being in Portugal. I have always heard that it takes 21 days to create a new habit. Maybe so. But I don’t like my new habit. In fact deep down I didn’t want a new habit. I liked my old habits just fine, my life, my family, my friends, my work, my homey home, frankly there wasn’t much I didn’t like. Life – not to sound cheesy – was good. I considered it to be a blessed life.
But I did the thing that is so hard to do. I trusted God. I told Him, that if He opened the door to an overseas transfer I would walk through it. I wanted to support my man and the man upstairs. Wow support, when it involves compromise, is really, really hard. Like the kind of hard where I want to curl up in a ball.
A part of me didn’t really think that God would put me through this kind of test. I wanted to believe that the test would be having faith, not necessarily following through. I wasn’t scared of a new experience, I just didn’t want to let go of my life experience that I knew and loved.
So here I am. Three weeks in Portugal. Wondering why? My life has turned upside down, and not in the way I wanted it to. I don’t know what God has in store for me here. I am sad. I am bored. I am frustrated.
If I was already living in our house here would that make it better? If I had my car would that help? I am not even sure if those things would make a difference. I think maybe, just maybe, that God moved me to a place over 5000 miles away, to increase my dependence on Him.
Change is hard.